The Right Decision

While it seems silly to experience some feelings of longing when Will tells me about the pointless meetings, long speeches, loss of network, et cetera during his first two pre-student days of school, I admit I did have a few twinges of jealousy. I miss my closest friendships at school and only wish I was there to commiserate/complain right along with them. That said, after my first two days alone with my toddler son, I am absolutely 100% sure we made the right decision. I have had so much fun with Ethan these past two days. It might be because I'm extra sensitive to the fact that I am fortunate to be home with him now, but he has seemed all the cuter, all the more lovable, and all the more fantastic to me. Here are a few mental snapshots that stand out to me from the past couple of days:

• sitting on the floor of your room in nothing but a t-shirt and diaper, morning bottle in your mouth with your head tipped back
• discovering the zinnias in the backyard for seemingly the first time and touching them gently, then not so gently (poor zinnias)
• spotting daddy when he came home from lunch and literally running down the driveway, arms outstretched, to give him a huge hug (This image, and a similar one from today, brought tears to my typically tearless eyes.)
• speaking your hilarious "digadigabagaga" language you have perfected and makes you sound like you're auditioning to be a minor alien character in a Star Wars movie
• picking up a weed and obediently throwing it in the bin, just like daddy taught you the day before, forcing me to wonder how long it will be before you know enough to not be entertained by child labor
• throwing your soccer ball to me, and by throwing I mean putting it behind your head and dropping it behind you
• vacuuming with me in the living room by grabbing the handle and helping me push
• running up to me and hugging my legs and burrowing your head into my pants before coming away with a great big smile up at me
• climbing into the car, unbeknownst to me or your dad, while I vacuumed it and standing on the seat with your hands on the steering wheel
• grabbing tomatoes from our garden, ripe or not, and the maniacal look of satisfaction brought on by your recent tomato-pilfering

And, finally...

• turning around in my lap during story time and putting your head on my shoulder in a melt-my-heart hug

Oh, Ethan, I love you more than a blog post could ever hope to capture, and these are just a few of the thousands of daily moments I treasure and will continue to treasure all year and in years to come.

And now, since pictures can sometimes speak louder than words, here are a few recent actual snapshots:

Here's Ethan looking at his first live fish. Grandpa Bill caught it for him in the lake, and it was hilarious to watch him watching it. Here, he has just thrown his shovel at the poor fish.
Close up of Ethan at our recent trip to the lake house. My family was there as well, which was a lot of fun but will not be pictorially documented due to family law concerning the display of beachwear on public forums.

Ethan loves this car!

Ethan spots some tomatoes...

...and he's got them!

On Not Returning to School this Fall (and pictures of Ethan for those of you who could care less about my feelings)

The other day, I passed a teacher supply store (The Chalkboard for all you educators out there) and I started to cry. The funny thing is, I did not go to The Chalkboard often as it mostly specializes in early educational materials, but seeing it made me think about the beginning of the school year and the excitement it brings. Those of you who are teachers know what I'm talking about, I imagine. We all mostly dread the end of summer for obvious reasons but also look forward to the start of the school year.

Admit it.

You do.

Here's why:

• There's something familiar about setting up your classroom, putting up your posters where you want them, arranging the pictures on your desk, placing your materials in filing cabinets, etc. And when you spend as much time at school as Will and I do, that classroom becomes part home. I always loved being in my room late in the afternoon when the school was mostly empty save the mice and a few janitors. The air was different somehow, and any idea I came up with in those late hours always seemed brilliant somehow.

• The friendships with teaching colleagues are like no other because you understand each other so well. I have many friends in my department, and it's strange for me to think about them going through those first couple of Institute Days - catching up on everyone's summer, making fun of the Hear Me Roar awards that go to the same people time after time, using the opening speeches as a time to organize their gradebooks - all without me. Does LT still function without me? Of course it does. But I often choose to think it cannot.

• The first week or so of class, while exhausting, is very interesting as you get to know your classes and pinpoint the troublemakers, the geniuses, and the kids who need a little extra lovin'. I will miss getting to know a whole new batch of freshmen. And then I will see these mystery students in town and will not recognize them because, alas, I'm not teaching them. My husband may recognize them, and they him, but they will all simply see me as Mr. Meuer's wife and nothing more. Not sure why this bothers me, but it does.

• When you're a teacher, a teacher who really cares about what they do, you cannot help but take pride in that fact. I, of course, still take pride in saying I am a stay at home mom, but I don't think I'll ever stop saying I'm a teacher, too, no matter how many years I take off. It's such a large part of who I've been, well before I even stepped into my own classroom.

Please, make no mistake about it. I'm happy with my decision to stay home and any sadness has nothing to do with not wanting to be home with Ethan. I imagine my previous post made it pretty clear how enamored I am with my young boy. I will treasure so much of the laughter we'll share all year and know how lucky I am for this chance to be at home with him. And I know it's a very important job, too. But I cannot help but mourn a little bit for my previous life, one that brought me a sense of belonging, great feelings of accomplishment, and, well, a husband!

A friend of mine is starting up a photography business, and she asked if she could take a few pictures of Ethan. She is going to be specializing in on site photography, basically meaning she'll come to you, and if you're interested, check out her website:

http://www.annamariesphotography.com/

(These are just a small sample of the pictures she took, and they are unedited. I couldn't wait for them all, so she sent me a few.)

My Cup Runneth Over

Since we've been home, I've thought of many topics to blog about:

• our landscaping (or lack thereof) woes and my secret desire to steal other people's perennials,
• Ethan's new dance and his great love of being nude,
• the painful (and I mean literally, not emotionally) reality of weaning,
• my feelings about not returning to school in the fall,
• the whirlwind that has been a very busy summer,
• and the benefits of my poor housekeeping skills.

Stay tuned for more on some of the above.

Today, boring as it may be, what I really would like to write about is how we've done a lot of nothing lately and really like it. We've enjoyed a fairly light couple of weeks with few obligations. Ethan, seemingly still recovering from his poor night sleep in Colorado, has been taking super long naps lately (this morning being a sad exception, unfortunately), and Will and I have taken quite a few naps ourselves. We've also done a lot of walking to town; playing at the park; playing and working in the backyard; and reading, for ourselves and to Ethan.

Side Story:
Some of you may remember my post a while back about the possibility of Ethan hating books after his library meltdown. Well, I'm here to tell you that my worries were for naught. Ethan LOVES books now. In fact, it can be downright frustrating since he has his favorites and wants you to read them to you over and over. It's annoying when I want to read Mommy's Best Kisses but Ethan wants to read a lame book called Time for School Mouse. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that his love of reading will continue. With Will and I as parents, I can't see how it won't but you never know.

There have been many days in the past week or so when I've paused in whatever I was doing and thought, Wow. I'm happy. Not that it's a big surprise and not that I was not happy before. It is just that our summer slowed down enough to really think about it. Even when we were having fun during a busy time of summer, we were too caught up in all the activities to really notice, I think. So, in the midst of some downtime, I thought I should be sure to document that, indeed, we are really enjoying ourselves this summer! And we're enjoying ourselves despite the fact that the house is a mess (Ethan destroys anything I pick up the minute he walks by), any summer projects are out the window, and school (for Will - sad) is quickly approaching.

Without a doubt, Ethan is a big contributor to our happiness right now. Back at home in his own crib, he's sleeping well again, and I'm enjoying a little more freedom now that he is officially weaned. Now, Will can put Ethan to bed and get him up in the morning without my help. Also, because Ethan's walking now, he's into everything, which is definitely not helping with the clutter/mess in the house but is still pretty hilarious. We typically close all doors upstairs so he can roam around the childproofed kitchen and living room. Even with such a small area in which to roam, he still gets into a good amount of mischief. The other day, Will opened the door to the office to find me on the computer. Here is our conversation from that day:

Will: Oh, you were in here?
Me: Well, yes, where were you?
Will: In the bedroom.
Me: Okay, then where is Ethan?
Will: He's in his room. He turned on his radio and is dancing.

Classic. He also really likes to tear paper apart, open and close anything, get in his baby pool with this regular clothes on, imitate laughter, transfer his clothing - one item at a time - to his other dresser, and dance to his barnyard fridge magnets. He has us laughing all the time, it seems, and it makes me very glad I'll be around this year for more fun.

Here is our goofy boy in some recent pictures:

He will open and close the door over and over. The problem comes when he closes the door all the way and can't get it open again.
When we actually want Ethan to go swimming, like when he's actually in his bathing suit, we have to bribe him to stay in by putting his car in the pool.
Here's Ethan's new bike helmet. :)
It's way too big right now, even with pads, but he did last 20 minutes on a bike ride the other day before he decided he was done.
We took this the other day when it got quiet (usually not a good sign) and we came to his room to find him reading on his floor.

We're Home!!!

I could write pages and pages about our trip to Colorado (as well as a pamphlet explaining why one year olds and vacations don't mix), but I won't. I'll let you look at the pictures, complete with captions, and allow them to tell the story. Honestly, we really did have a lot of good times on the trip. Ethan was a pretty good sleeper the first few nights but stopped sleeping the last few. Paired with the fact that we then shared walls those last few nights, it made for some stressful times. So asking us about our trip at the end would yield a different answer than in the middle. Being home now, though, and with a lot more sleep, I look at the pictures we took with fondness. Colorado is so gorgeous, and I was glad to, for once, show Will someplace he had never been but I had. I posted just a few teaser pictures, but the rest can be seen on the following link:

http://ethansantics.shutterfly.com/action/

I Love You, Stinky Face

There's a really great children's book called I Love You, Stinky Face that I just have to get for Ethan. You see, Ethan has a reputation for being a very serious kid. Since he was able to make facial expressions, of his own volition that is, his expression of choice for strangers and family alike has been a furrowed brow. Early on, we nicknamed his favored facial appearance The Stink Eye. (This term was coined by family in reference to a funny grimace my nephew Drew loved to make, much to the entertainment of us all.) As Ethan has aged, The Stink Eye has become more and more advanced. Ethan is definitely an equal opportunity Stink Eyer, but he practices it the most on strangers, making trips out in public particularly funny.

While I will certainly not dispute Ethan's affinity toward frowning at others, I am here to tell you that really, most often, he is a very happy kid who smiles and laughs quite a bit. I'm not sure why I feel the need to defend this fact. I guess I just want everyone to see him as Will and I see him: as a very curious and adorable little man. If you do not see him often, or when there are many others around, you may not get to see the true Ethan. I assure you, though, that especially with his newly acquired walking skills, he is a hoot.

To illustrate, I've posted many recent pictures, from his birthday party, our trip to the lake house in WI, and some at home. I've also posted a video of his now famous "fridge hump" dance. I could watch him do this all day long. While at the lake, Ethan perfected walking, and has thus changed our lives at home. We moved our leaning (aka climbing) shelf to where he can't get to it, turned all our tables to have drawers facing walls, took most things off of any reachable surface, locked some cabinet doors, and started keeping all doors to bathrooms/bedrooms closed. Thanks to our circular floor plan, Ethan is having a ball walking round and round the house. He's discovering many new things to play with, too, such as my pots and pans and the remote. His higher vantage point gives him reign over a lot more territory!

Though his walking causes us to be on our toes even more (didn't know it was possible), we're enjoying watching him toddle around. Plus, he now has a choice about crawling on hard surfaces. No more dirty knees...or at least not as much. Walking also comes with other advantages. Today was his last physical therapy appointment and Miss Pat gave him flying colors and pronounced him a Children's Memorial PT graduate. I admit to being a little sad, as I really looked forward to these appointments because his therapist was so nice, as were the other people in the office. Those appointments, as well as the ones with his orthotist, helped break up my week during the winter/spring. But, of course, we're glad he no longer needs any kind of special services.

That's all for now, I think. My next post will probably be with stories and pictures from our trip to Colorado. Keep us in your thoughts for our plane ride (this coming Monday morning and the next week Tuesday) and the entire trip. Let the adventure begin!

Will had a harrowing ride back from the party store with all of Ethan's party balloons!

New cousin Matthew slept through most of the party.

Ethan loved playing with Auntie Spooner.

Here's Grandma posing with her great cake, complete with a Little People plane.


Ethan's not a fan of cake...yet.
What a haul!


Here's Ethan playing with one of his new toys.

What a smart kid, working on his puzzle.

Here's his post-party hairdo the next day.

On attempt number 3, we finally got Ethan to stay in his floaty.

Mr. Jake loved playing in the sand.

A born sailor.

Jake and Ethan got matching Fourth of July rompers from Aunt Laura. They wore them on their first boat ride.

Ethan did surprisingly well on his boat ride, despite the uncomfortable life jacket. We have hope for our plane ride next week now!

How cute is this picture?

Ethan had his own place to play.

The parents with their "penned" kids.

Here's Ethan showing off his muscles, the ones he gets from his Daddy.

This dance is what got me through a sleep-deprived week at the lake. No matter how tired or grumpy I was, watching Ethan do his fridge toy dance melted it all way. He now does this dance when any music is playing and even while sitting or in our arms. It's hilarious.

Birthday Boy

One year ago today, the most wonderful thing happened...

Brittany Spears went to jail.

Oh yeah, and Ethan was born, too!

My little man is one year old today - can you believe it? So far, we've celebrated with a trip to Jewel (the lady at the bakery gave him a cookie before she even knew it was his b-day), playtime with his new blocks, lunch with Grandma and Grandmama (great-grandma), and a nice long nap. Dad is at a conference all week in the city and won't be back until 5 or so. We will have dinner and a birthday cupcake later.

Presents in his crib this morning.

Here he is in his "I'm one" hat.

Playing with his new, eco-friendly blocks.

SO BIG...really, he is. :(

Ethan the Hollywood stuntman

Guest Appearance by Will

I have never written on a blog before (as having one of my own would be pretty ambitious for me right now) and Michelle just so happened to leave this page open so I thought I would do some reporting of my own.

I'll limit myself to one of the things Ethan did that made me laugh today. The man was in his little car today and managed to tip the thing over while he was inside. I held my breath as I awaited his reaction (the Jedi manual says to let younglings figure things out for themselves to a certain extent). The E man escaped his wrecked car by rolling out and then crawling away from the vehicle before it became engulfed in flames and exploded (this last part is exaggerated for the Hollywood movie script). After he crawled 10 feet away, he turned around in the middle of the lawn and then just sat and looked at the car. He had a contemplative expression as if he were reflecting on his narrow escape and near brush with death. Then he looked at me as if to say "I know I scared you dad, but I live on the edge...it's what I do."