It's 6:40 and Ethan is sleeping. I put him down about 20 minutes ago completely awake, and he was asleep within 5 minutes with about 30 seconds of very light crying. What a difference a few days make.
After my second to last post, the one detailing all the sleep issues we were having, we decided to let Ethan "cry it out." It's a sleep training method I did not really think I would ever use, but the worse Ethan was sleeping, the more I realized that it was what we needed to do. Will and I talked it over and started a gradual CIO regimen this weekend. We let him cry until we finally caved in and went to him. That was about 20-30 minutes after he started. He slept poorly both nights, waking up very often before midnight, and then sleeping in two hour increments. Finally, on Monday, we went for it full-throttle. One of the leading CIO proponents, Dr. Marc Weisbluth, whose book I have read, explains that having your child cry it out in gradual increments will actually make for more total crying and will take longer than if you simply do it all the way one night. We were terrified, though, because for some children this can mean well over an hour of crying. On Monday, though, Ethan cried for about 45 minutes before finding his pacifier, popping it in, and calming down. It's a good thing, too, because I don't think we could have taken that much longer. About 10 minutes after that, he was asleep. And he slept until almost 3am! Then, after eating, he went back down easily until after 6! His first nap that next day was an hour and a half, too! That is the longest nap he's had in so long. I was thrilled, and it gave me the motivation to take another night of crying. I had been warned by friends, that the second night could be worse, so I was very anxious. Miraculously, 12 minutes after putting him down last night, he was asleep, and he really didn't cry all that hard in those 12 minutes. Tonight, he hardly cried at all. In the words of The Monkey's, "I'm a Believer."
One thing that helped was that we set up a video monitor we got for free from the place we bought Ethan's crib. It has a little television monitor you can watch. That first night, Will and I were glued to the monitor, cheering for Ethan to find his pacifier to help him calm down. He had spit it out, but I had placed five in his crib all around him. :) When he finally found one and got it to his mouth, we were silently cheering!
There is still a bit of guilt I feel for letting Ethan cry it out, even though I truly believe it is in his best interest since sleep is very important to his development, now and later. There are many parents who believe it is an evil practice that teaches your child that you are not going to come to their aide when they need it. When I read this other side, it makes me sad. And, of course, as a mommy, you can't help but feel guilty when you listen to your baby cry and don't respond to it. Your heart aches more than a little, that is for sure. But when I saw how well-rested Ethan was in the morning, and when he greeted me with his great big smile, I knew it was OK. And the fact that he can go down so easily now takes away a lot of my anxiety. The fact of the matter is, when I'm tired and stressed, I'm not the best mom I can be. Now, both of us are better rested and happier. And I really just don't believe that an hour of crying at 6 months will affect him the rest of his life if he gets all the love he wants when he's awake. He doesn't seem deprived to me!
And, really, we were terribly lucky that Ethan took to putting himself to bed at night so quickly. The entire "training process" only caused an hour total of crying. When I think about him waking up so often every night, that is a lot more than an hour of crying, so it was definitely worth it. I have to thank my friend, Emma, who talked me through a lot of my concerns about having Ethan cry it out and was a great person to give advice since she was in my shoes last year. Emma is also the cloth diapering guru I follow, so her new nickname is Mr. Miyagi. Thanks you, master!
In other Ethan news, he had his first helmet follow-up helmet appointment today at Children's in the city. The orthotist measured his head and he has gained 3 mm where he needs to, after only 2 weeks with the helmet. Will and I are thrilled that the helmet really doesn't seem to bother him at all. He scratches his head a little when we take it off to clean it, but that's about all. He adjusted to it so quickly. And the stares from outsiders haven't bothered me either...much. I was only bothered yesterday when a woman did a double take and had a really rude look on her face and seemed to stare a little too obviously. I told Will I had a small fantasy of turning her around after she passed and punching her in the face. I guess that's the mama bear in me. But, really, we're used to it and think it's pretty cute. He almost looks strange when he doesn't have it on because we're so used to it. And it's proved quite useful in the past couple of days. Yesterday, I knocked him in the head with an umbrella but he was unscathed. And the other day, I took a corner too close and his helmet got bonked. He wasn't phased at all. :) A helmet isn't the worse thing when you have a klutz for a mother, I guess!
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNIE!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
Why it's Important to Vote Democrat in the Next Election
It's January 7th.
I ran in three quarter pants today and a light top.
There were tornado warnings earlier.
Now there is a thunderstorm.
Global Warming is here to stay.
I ran in three quarter pants today and a light top.
There were tornado warnings earlier.
Now there is a thunderstorm.
Global Warming is here to stay.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Not so happy post
***WARNING: The following post may serve as unwelcome birth control. If you are planning on becoming a first time parent any time soon, please proceed with caution.
I'M TIRED. Too tired for an exclamation point there even. I don't do well without a lot of sleep. My sister, Lisa, doesn't sleep and handles it very well. She has two crazy kids running around and another on the way but the lack of sleep doesn't phase her all that much. Me, I'm not the same. I really like sleep. I like it a lot. And I miss it. Half my day consists of wondering how much I'll sleep at night and daydreams of the next time I'll be able to really sleep in, like when our kids are off at college. I have not been this deprived of sleep since Ethan was a newborn. Then it was easier because it was expected. But at six months? He has been out of whack for at least three weeks now, and I'm feeling desperate. I feel pretty OK once morning comes and it's light out, but getting up so often at night, and for so long, is taking its toll. You start to get a little insane. I play a game with myself every night when I get up. I start counting the hours of sleep I've had. When it's 2am and I've really only slept a couple of hours so far, I get a bit panicked. Then I try to figure out how many hours of total sleep I will get if he falls asleep soon. Every time I go back to sleep and then wake up again, I look at the clock and can't believe how little time has passed.
Then there's the anger. I get mad at Ethan for not sleeping. I want to throw things. I am tense and know that only makes things worse but I can't help it. Then I get mad at myself for getting mad at my adorable six month old whose sleep issues are very likely my fault. I second guess everything I do and think of a new theory every hour of the day. Perhaps he's not sleeping well because my voice is hoarse and when I try to sing him the song I sing him before naps only half the song comes out in a man voice. He's confused. Or...maybe all the flashbulbs from the photographer yesterday afternoon gave him a headache. These are silly theories, I realize, but I am desperate for an answer that probably simply doesn't exist.
He is having major problems simply getting to sleep, even in the middle of the night when all it used to take was a little bit of nursing and then back to bed. As soon as I put him down, he wakes up and is wide awake again. So I rerock him until he's asleep and wait a long while before trying to put him down again. Usually, on the the third try, I can get him down. But by then I've been up for an hour already.
Additionally, he seems to have awful gas lately so now I am trying to cut dairy out of my diet. It's unlikely he would all of a sudden have an aversion to dairy in my diet, but I am trying it out anyway. But it's not easy. What is there to eat? No milk with my oatmeal? No cheese? No ice cream??? That's madness.
Luckily, the during-the-day-rational part of me knows that it will not be like this forever. But try telling that to the middle-of-the-night-zombie part of me.
I'M TIRED. Too tired for an exclamation point there even. I don't do well without a lot of sleep. My sister, Lisa, doesn't sleep and handles it very well. She has two crazy kids running around and another on the way but the lack of sleep doesn't phase her all that much. Me, I'm not the same. I really like sleep. I like it a lot. And I miss it. Half my day consists of wondering how much I'll sleep at night and daydreams of the next time I'll be able to really sleep in, like when our kids are off at college. I have not been this deprived of sleep since Ethan was a newborn. Then it was easier because it was expected. But at six months? He has been out of whack for at least three weeks now, and I'm feeling desperate. I feel pretty OK once morning comes and it's light out, but getting up so often at night, and for so long, is taking its toll. You start to get a little insane. I play a game with myself every night when I get up. I start counting the hours of sleep I've had. When it's 2am and I've really only slept a couple of hours so far, I get a bit panicked. Then I try to figure out how many hours of total sleep I will get if he falls asleep soon. Every time I go back to sleep and then wake up again, I look at the clock and can't believe how little time has passed.
Then there's the anger. I get mad at Ethan for not sleeping. I want to throw things. I am tense and know that only makes things worse but I can't help it. Then I get mad at myself for getting mad at my adorable six month old whose sleep issues are very likely my fault. I second guess everything I do and think of a new theory every hour of the day. Perhaps he's not sleeping well because my voice is hoarse and when I try to sing him the song I sing him before naps only half the song comes out in a man voice. He's confused. Or...maybe all the flashbulbs from the photographer yesterday afternoon gave him a headache. These are silly theories, I realize, but I am desperate for an answer that probably simply doesn't exist.
He is having major problems simply getting to sleep, even in the middle of the night when all it used to take was a little bit of nursing and then back to bed. As soon as I put him down, he wakes up and is wide awake again. So I rerock him until he's asleep and wait a long while before trying to put him down again. Usually, on the the third try, I can get him down. But by then I've been up for an hour already.
Additionally, he seems to have awful gas lately so now I am trying to cut dairy out of my diet. It's unlikely he would all of a sudden have an aversion to dairy in my diet, but I am trying it out anyway. But it's not easy. What is there to eat? No milk with my oatmeal? No cheese? No ice cream??? That's madness.
Luckily, the during-the-day-rational part of me knows that it will not be like this forever. But try telling that to the middle-of-the-night-zombie part of me.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Happy 2008
Here's four generations on both sides! We had both sets of grandparents and both great grandmas over on the 23rd.
Three generations with both grandpas.
Don't they look debonair?
Here's the annual cousins picture.
Ethan loved eating...er...opening presents Christmas morning.
Here we are Christmas Day at the Meuers.
Grandma Leona admires Baby Jake.
Here's another four generations with both Meuer boys and their boys.
Our picture with little Santa.
Grandma Leona admires Baby Jake.Here's another four generations with both Meuer boys and their boys. Our picture with little Santa.
Ethan's day after Christmas present was his helmet.
Will nicknamed Ethan Magneto from X-men. Here's Magneto using his metal crushing powers.
Baby Jake was Christened on December 30th. Here's the family before the ceremony.
Here's Jake right after the dousing. He didn't even wake up!
Happy New Year!!!
Here are a few pics of our new car, a Mazda 3.
Here's the cake my mom made for my cousin Charlie. He asked for hooters on his cake. I thought my mom was pretty clever!
Well, I thought I would put a sampling of the major events from our holiday since looking at those and seeing the captions would help you see how we've been spending our time. It's been a very busy couple of weeks filled with a lot of fun family events. But, man, are we exhausted!!!
Christmas came and went so quickly, as usual, but it was a great time. For the first time, Will and I had Christmas morning in our own house, starting new traditions with Ethan. He mostly just ate his wrapping paper, but he did seem to enjoy some of his toys...once they were out of the horrendous packaging that is. Grandma Mary Terese gave him a shelving unit with bins for all his toys and its already pretty much filled thanks to all of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins! He hardly knows what to eat/play with first.
The day after Christmas was a bit sad for us because we did have to go into the city to pick up Ethan's helmet. I'll admit to getting a bit overwhelmed/upset while there because when they first put it on, it was very low on his head, and it didn't look like my Ethan. I decided then and there that he would just deal with a lopsided head! But then the orthotist did some trimming and now it's really not so bad. Many family members have even said how cute it is. It is somewhat cute, I guess, but, of course, we'd rather not have to have it. It does not seem to bother Ethan at all now, which is a great relief, and the only major problems are:
1. It smells like a foot when you take it off, giving Ethan the nickname Stinky Head.
2. It hurts my arm when I nurse/rock him.
3. It's difficult to get clothing over it.
4. Ethan headbutts sometimes and now it can leave a bruise.
One major advantage (besides the whole fixing of his flat head) is that I no longer worry about knocking Ethan's head against the changing table when I get up from his chair. He's protected now! In all seriousness, though, we are feeling much better about the whole thing and appreciate all the support you've given us throughout the process.
Ethan's 6th month appointment was today (he was a stud with the shots) and he continues to top the charts with his height: 28 inches. He's as tall as a typical 10 month old. He's weighing in at 18lbs 10oz these days, less than we thought actually. He's 75th percentile there. My back sure is feeling that weight, but I suppose I should thank him for the bicep workout. Everything else is looking good. Tomorrow, we're going to start feeding him jar food. Should be interesting!
The only major Ethan snag in our lives right now is that he has not been sleeping well at night. We've unswaddled him (finally!) but he now needs to be rocked to sleep most times because he takes his pacifier out of mouth to play with it. When he inevitably drops it, he is very mad. We've created a monster. On top of this, he seems to be getting an upset tummy (aka lots of gas pains) every night. I've cut things from my diet, tried drops and tonight gave him some chamomile tea...nothing seems to work. He is waking up very frequently and it's been a bit frustrating. His naps are very short, too. To make matters worse, I have a bad cold that's all in my throat right now and the lack of sleep is not helping. I just keep telling myself, "This too shall pass" over and over. We're hoping it will settle down once our lives settle down and he's not doing so much of his sleeping on the go. He's been sleeping for over an hour now with no stirrings which is better than the past few nights, so knock on wood quick!
Oh, yeah, and we bought a car! We had many talks and finally decided to hold off on the minivan for another year or so and get a sedan. It's much more cost effective for us right now with only one kid. Soon enough, we'll be trading in the Impala for the good old van, I'm sure. We decided on a Mazda 3 after Will poured over all the car ads for a few days and spoke to many a car dealers. We were able to get 0% financing for 36 months, which was a definite for us, so we're pretty happy. It's a nice little car. All the online reviews compare it to the Corolla and Civic, two cars we were looking into. I'm pretty excited because I've never had a new car. We said goodbye (well, Will said good riddance) to the Pontiac. It got us a whopping $500 toward our new car, which actually was more than I expected since it needs a lot more work than that! I meant to get a picture of the "Goldie Oldie" but forgot. Oh well.
The other new thing in our lives is our master bathroom. My uncle Johnny helped us out big time when our shower started leaking. He redid the bathroom, working nights and weekends) in about 4 weeks! It's beautiful. I'll get some before/after pictures up soon.
Before I head to bed, a special congratulations to my sister-in-law, Laura, and her new fiance, Chris, who proposed yesterday. We're very excited for you Laura! Congratulations!
Happy New Year, everybody!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Miscellaneous
There's a lot to report, it seems. We've had a busy week. First, we've had a birthday among us. Will is officially one year older, that's right. In the pictures, you'll see Will's birthday celebration at his parent's house in Winnetka last weekend and then pictures from his actual birthday on Tuesday, the 11th. I could not help but post a picture of the cake I made and decorated for him since it was, by far, my best work to date. It's a boxed cake but with two different homemade frostings. I got some tips and a recipe from the Feed Your Family blog I like to look at. The cake he features is way fancier, but I was happy with the way mine turned out. :) There's also a video of Ethan's latest obsession: blowing raspberries. He does it all the time now. It's a messy habit but still cute.
Another piece of news we have is not as celebratory. Ethan had his second head scan this week, and because his head shape has not improved, we are going to go ahead with a reshaping helmet. We're not too happy about this but know it's the right thing to do. From the front, you cannot tell there is any kind of problem, but there is definitely an obvious flatness on the back right of his head. Hopefully, he will only be in the helmet for a few months. He's still pretty young, which is a great advantage. But I'm still sad. I realize he could have far worse issues and in the grand scheme of things this is not at all a big deal. But the mama bear in me is really dreading this helmet. I don't want strangers looking at him funny or feeling sorry for him, and I know I will not be able to help feeling sensitive about this, even though I know I shouldn't. Also, both Will and I were talking about how strange it will be to not kiss his little head and how the helmet will seem a bit obstructive. He'll have it off for only 1 hour a day. Even though it's only a few months, I won't get this time back with him when he's just my little man. He loves to burrow his face into my shoulder, which is such a wonderfully cute thing, and I keep thinking he won't be able to do that anymore, at least not easily. Thankfully, when it's all over, his little head will be back to normal, and we won't have to worry about teasing later on.
This leads me to a contest for all readers of this blog. Please leave a comment with your most entertaining comeback to someone that either asks about the helmet or stares at it in an annoying way. Will said to tell people he was born with an extra large brain and is waiting for a cranial transplant. What do you think? Might as well have some fun with the situation.
I have to close now because our replacement keyboard (ours broke this week), which is a floor model while we wait for a new one, is making me have to pound on each key in order to work. Very annoying.
*Dec. 19 addendum: Click on the first picture below and it will show up nice and big. Then look at Ethan's face. We discovered this last night...so hilarious!
Another piece of news we have is not as celebratory. Ethan had his second head scan this week, and because his head shape has not improved, we are going to go ahead with a reshaping helmet. We're not too happy about this but know it's the right thing to do. From the front, you cannot tell there is any kind of problem, but there is definitely an obvious flatness on the back right of his head. Hopefully, he will only be in the helmet for a few months. He's still pretty young, which is a great advantage. But I'm still sad. I realize he could have far worse issues and in the grand scheme of things this is not at all a big deal. But the mama bear in me is really dreading this helmet. I don't want strangers looking at him funny or feeling sorry for him, and I know I will not be able to help feeling sensitive about this, even though I know I shouldn't. Also, both Will and I were talking about how strange it will be to not kiss his little head and how the helmet will seem a bit obstructive. He'll have it off for only 1 hour a day. Even though it's only a few months, I won't get this time back with him when he's just my little man. He loves to burrow his face into my shoulder, which is such a wonderfully cute thing, and I keep thinking he won't be able to do that anymore, at least not easily. Thankfully, when it's all over, his little head will be back to normal, and we won't have to worry about teasing later on.
This leads me to a contest for all readers of this blog. Please leave a comment with your most entertaining comeback to someone that either asks about the helmet or stares at it in an annoying way. Will said to tell people he was born with an extra large brain and is waiting for a cranial transplant. What do you think? Might as well have some fun with the situation.
I have to close now because our replacement keyboard (ours broke this week), which is a floor model while we wait for a new one, is making me have to pound on each key in order to work. Very annoying.
*Dec. 19 addendum: Click on the first picture below and it will show up nice and big. Then look at Ethan's face. We discovered this last night...so hilarious!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Peek-a-boo!
I couldn't resist posting this video right away. I played peek-a-boo with Ethan for the first time today. Oh, to be so easily amused...
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I became a mom today...
No, I didn't give birth to another child 5 months after the first. And, no, Ethan didn't start saying Mama today. Nope, I think I just have calmed down enough to observe my own life, and it is the life of a mom for sure. My musings started this morning when I saw an LT friend at the bagel shop, where I was meeting another friend from LT, who pointed out the spit up on my shirt. He said, "Oh, you are definitely a mom!" I didn't know Ethan had spit up on me before I left, I promise, but I also didn't care all that much when I did discover it. (Sadly, I'm also not going to change.) Once I left the bagel place, I started thinking about what he said and decided he's right.
So, as proof that I am, in fact, a mom, here's my day today so far:
I crawled out of bed around 6:15 this morning (after having been up twice in the night), put on my giant robe, and sleepily tended to my very awake, and very happy, baby. After changing his incredibly heavy diaper (morning diapers are a treat), I fed him and proceeded to start my own morning feeding routine. I got my coffee ready, a new addition to my morning routine since having Ethan; put Ethan in his high chair; heated up my oatmeal while I cleaned up Will's kitchen mess, not a new addition unfortunately; turned the kitchen radio on to Good Morning America; and ate my oatmeal while Ethan played with his new teething ring. When I was finished, we went to the living room for some floor tummy time. Ethan gnawed on anything within reach and also gave me a bit of a scare when I left the room for a second only to come back to an empty blanket. He had rolled off of it and from where I was standing, I couldn't see him. (I had a brief moment where I thought he might have crawled away before I noticed him kicking his arms and legs right next to the couch and off the safety of his ABC blanket.) Once I established Ethan had not, in fact, run away from home, we played for a bit before nap time. His nap routine is so well-established at this point, he goes down with little or no fuss. It's beautiful. While he napped, I showered. I hadn't washed my hair since Sunday - it was time. I picked out an outfit that was not sweatpants for a change because I knew I was meeting my friend. I also put makeup on, a rare thing these days. By the time I was all set and dressed, Ethan was up so I changed and fed him and got him out of his pajamas for the first time in a while, too! It took us about 15 minutes to get out the door and into the car. When I got to the bagel place, I had to unfold the giant stroller and put Ethan's car seat into it so I could keep him covered from the snow. I struggled getting through the not one but two doors to get into the shop. A cute older man watched as I tugged at the stroller that was caught on the door. I remarked to him, "It will be nice when he can walk," and then struggled some more, trying to find a spot to park the giant stroller where I wouldn't be in people's way. Once settled, I took out the car seat and unfolded all the layers of blankets and such covering Ethan so I could take him out and sit him upright in the stroller. I got out the toys I had brought with him in my big diaper bag and got him settled. All of our extra stuff (my coat, his car seat, and my diaper bag) took up one small table in the store. My friend Katy and I used the table next to it. We had a nice visit (Ethan was a very good boy) and then it was time to go. I packed away Ethan's toys, snapped him back into his car seat which had to be lifted back into his stroller, covered him up, and walked him the ten feet to the car. Then I lifted the car seat out of the stroller (he's about 18 pounds now so no easy feat) and snapped it into the base. Next, I folded the stroller back up, put it in the trunk, and drove the 5 minutes back home, where we started the nap routine all over again.
Those of you who are parents read this and think, "Yeah, so? Try it with two or three kids. Deal with it." My sister Lisa is thinking, "Try it with two kids under 4 and one baby on the way!" And those of you without kids may not have made it through the entry and, if you did, think, "God, I'm exhausted just reading that." And a couple of years ago, I would have thought the same thing. I remember watching other mothers lug their kids around and thinking simply, "That looks hard." I was right. It is hard. I am exhausted. But the thing is, I don't really think about how hard it is or how exhausted I am. (OK, that's a bit of a lie, but I don't dwell on these things at least.) I just go through each day, following my new mommy routines because it is my life now. And what a good life it is - spit up and all!
So, as proof that I am, in fact, a mom, here's my day today so far:
I crawled out of bed around 6:15 this morning (after having been up twice in the night), put on my giant robe, and sleepily tended to my very awake, and very happy, baby. After changing his incredibly heavy diaper (morning diapers are a treat), I fed him and proceeded to start my own morning feeding routine. I got my coffee ready, a new addition to my morning routine since having Ethan; put Ethan in his high chair; heated up my oatmeal while I cleaned up Will's kitchen mess, not a new addition unfortunately; turned the kitchen radio on to Good Morning America; and ate my oatmeal while Ethan played with his new teething ring. When I was finished, we went to the living room for some floor tummy time. Ethan gnawed on anything within reach and also gave me a bit of a scare when I left the room for a second only to come back to an empty blanket. He had rolled off of it and from where I was standing, I couldn't see him. (I had a brief moment where I thought he might have crawled away before I noticed him kicking his arms and legs right next to the couch and off the safety of his ABC blanket.) Once I established Ethan had not, in fact, run away from home, we played for a bit before nap time. His nap routine is so well-established at this point, he goes down with little or no fuss. It's beautiful. While he napped, I showered. I hadn't washed my hair since Sunday - it was time. I picked out an outfit that was not sweatpants for a change because I knew I was meeting my friend. I also put makeup on, a rare thing these days. By the time I was all set and dressed, Ethan was up so I changed and fed him and got him out of his pajamas for the first time in a while, too! It took us about 15 minutes to get out the door and into the car. When I got to the bagel place, I had to unfold the giant stroller and put Ethan's car seat into it so I could keep him covered from the snow. I struggled getting through the not one but two doors to get into the shop. A cute older man watched as I tugged at the stroller that was caught on the door. I remarked to him, "It will be nice when he can walk," and then struggled some more, trying to find a spot to park the giant stroller where I wouldn't be in people's way. Once settled, I took out the car seat and unfolded all the layers of blankets and such covering Ethan so I could take him out and sit him upright in the stroller. I got out the toys I had brought with him in my big diaper bag and got him settled. All of our extra stuff (my coat, his car seat, and my diaper bag) took up one small table in the store. My friend Katy and I used the table next to it. We had a nice visit (Ethan was a very good boy) and then it was time to go. I packed away Ethan's toys, snapped him back into his car seat which had to be lifted back into his stroller, covered him up, and walked him the ten feet to the car. Then I lifted the car seat out of the stroller (he's about 18 pounds now so no easy feat) and snapped it into the base. Next, I folded the stroller back up, put it in the trunk, and drove the 5 minutes back home, where we started the nap routine all over again.
Those of you who are parents read this and think, "Yeah, so? Try it with two or three kids. Deal with it." My sister Lisa is thinking, "Try it with two kids under 4 and one baby on the way!" And those of you without kids may not have made it through the entry and, if you did, think, "God, I'm exhausted just reading that." And a couple of years ago, I would have thought the same thing. I remember watching other mothers lug their kids around and thinking simply, "That looks hard." I was right. It is hard. I am exhausted. But the thing is, I don't really think about how hard it is or how exhausted I am. (OK, that's a bit of a lie, but I don't dwell on these things at least.) I just go through each day, following my new mommy routines because it is my life now. And what a good life it is - spit up and all!
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