Sunday, August 21, 2011

Getting (part) of our life in order

Between trainings, institute days, and teacher work days, Will was pretty much back to work this week. And, while we did miss him (the kids go through a little adjustment when he's back to work), I think we had a pretty great week. With Will out of the house, I was finally able to start organizing the house. Every day, I did at least one small bit of organizing, and it's making me feel better about the fall coming, which will all too soon lead to winter. Will doesn't really understand my need to keep things more tidy around the house, but I think a lot of it has to do with control for me right now. My body has turned against me, and I really feel like I have little control over how I'm feeling right now physically. It's been pretty difficult/emotional for me, and one thing that makes me feel worse is when papers and junk pile up in the house or when I walk into our storage/laundry room or our garage. It's just so cluttered, and I hate it. And, since a cleaner house is something I actually can control, I'm determined.

Neither Will nor I are neat freaks, and we probably never will be. Our house will never be clutter free. But I do like there to be a place for things, and, since our house is pretty modestly sized (euphemism for tiny), it's imporant that I try to keep the clutter under control. Part of the problem is that Will is a bit of a hoarder. This is a man who holds onto bank statements, old tax returns, receipts, bills, etc. for years and years and years. I've shown him credible sites online that give advice for what to hold on to and for how long, but he's just so stubborn. He also holds on to random trinkets and containers that he thinks he may use some day. And, to his credit, sometimes he does find use for these things. But, most often, he doesn't, mostly because he doesn't even knows he has them because they're buried in the basement somewhere or in the volcano of crap on his dresser. I'm all for recycling, too, but the problem is that we just don't have to room to hold on to so much stuff. Anyway, I am too nice (read: scared) to really throw away anything of Will's, so I have to work around him and be very diligent with my own things as well as give him an organized space to keep his junk.


So far, I've cleaned out the kids drawers/closets of old clothes, cleaned out old toys, organized our hall closet (half of it, at least), set up a "mud room," put up some cork boards and a dry erase board, and cleaned out our junk drawers. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I want to start small so that when I do tackle the basement and garage, other areas are under control. I'll try to remember to post before and after pictures of the main areas.


Of course, in between projects, the kids and I have had a lot of fun. I've actually really been enjoying the time Ethan and I have during Eleanor's nap. We've started a tradition of doing a few worksheets from a phonics book, and we are also practicing writing his name. I've designated a notebook his name notebook, and I date the page with each new name entry. That way, we can see his progress. After the "homework," we do an art project or work with some play dough or something. Or, we have been going outside, too, since the weather has been pretty great. The other day, we even flew a kite, despite the fact that there was very little wind. We got one good breeze, though, and I was a little embarrassed by my extreme excitement of getting Spidey up in the air. I'm enjoying this time now because I know it's short lived. Before I'm ready, we'll be exiled to the basement for most of our playtime, so we're spending as much time upstairs and out of doors as we can.



And, it's nice to have time with Eleanor while Ethan is at school. He's had a summer camp these last two weeks, and he has one more week this week. Then, there's two weeks off before preschool starts again. Eleanor and I can run errands together or just play at home on our own. One day, we took her friend Andrew (and his mom) to the Arboretum. We left right after taking Ethan to school, played in the children's garden for an hour and a half, and then came home to eat lunch before picking Ethan up. It was a great outting, and I think it's nice for Eleanor to not have to fight for attention with her brother.



Enjoy some recent pics.


This was from a trip to the Arboretum with Will, too. It was his first time in the children's garden there.
Ethan loves these pumps.


This is Etahn running out of this tunnel type structure made of vines.


Swiss Family Meuer







Running


Will snapped this one.


I thought I put it up high, but Eleanor got to the ink pad again!


This is one my birthday. We had the big summer birthday family party at my uncle's house that day. It just happened to be on my birthday b/c we needed to have it earlier since a lot of my cousins were leaving for college the next day. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate very well to go swimming in the great pool they have, but we still had fun.


Mom's cake read "Celebrating 507 years," which was the totol from all the birthdays we were celebrating that day.


Farm park - an old favorite.


She's started the pointing phase.





Captain America came for a visit.


From our solo trip to the Arbor.


I tried deperately to get a good 18 month pic, but she's just too fast these days.


Andrew had just given Eleanor a flower. :)








This is right before we left for the Farmer's Market. Ethan insisted on wearing his costume, which led to many looks and comments. He also wore it to Target later in the morning. What a goof!


First pony tail!


Our mud room aka a tiny spot in our kitchen, but it beats shoes all over the rug!


This is how I found Ethan the other night when I went to check on him before bed. I imagine he was going for his book shelf but just conked out on the way.Air and Water Show today - awesome spot!







Love it.


We had to buy the kids hats b/c we forgot them (along with bathing suits - oops!), and pool Eleanor had to get a Sox hat. Oh well.


We walked to the beach from Will's parent's city condo, and then we were able to go back there for a nap for Eleanor. We are already looking forward to next year. Just hope the weather will be as good as today's, which was perfect!



This is the amazing view from the condo. We could see the show from the window.



Monday, August 8, 2011

Ups and Downs

I ran for the first time in over two months last night. It was completely unplanned. I spent the day in the kitchen mostly, making homemade pasta and cleaning up the mess that made. But after a frustrating few weeks of very little working out, I came to the quick conclusion that I would simply try a run. Not the smartest of ideas, I knew, not only because I had just finished a heavy pasta dish, but also because I knew that I would likely feel the run in my lower back that night and the next day. But I just didn’t care. I needed to run – period. These past few months without running have really just been brutal. And while I know that my body is not ready to run, I just had to try. So I did. And it was the best awful run I’ve had in a long time.

The run itself was short, just 12 minutes and 45 seconds. I didn’t want to overdo it because I have a Rolfing session Tuesday, and I’m not supposed to go to those with sore muscles. I didn’t feel great (dinner and a glass of wine were sloshing around in my tummy), but I didn’t feel too poorly either. Some good tunes came in through my radio walkman, and the sky was a gorgeous sunset pink set behind puffy white cumulous clouds. At one point, I even got a little emotional, choking back a few tears, just so happy to be moving my body and making it work hard. God, I’ve missed this feeling! It feels like I’m shouting to the world: “I am strong! Look what I can do!”

Of course, that happiness quickly gave way to sadness, knowing that this run would be short, the time before another one long, and the pain as a result frustrating. I couldn’t help but think where I was a year ago, training for the half marathon. At this point, I was running 8-10 miles at a time, feeling pretty darn good for still being a nursing mom of a not even six month old. Eleven months ago I ran 13.1 miles in under 2 hours. Tonight, I likely only ran a mile in over 12 minutes. Now, when I should have lost all of that baby weight and then some, I’m the mother of an almost eighteen month old and with more “jiggle around my middle” than I’m comfortable with. And I can’t sit on a couch, or in the car, or on my desk chair for longer than five minutes without some pretty intense tailbone pain. And I can’t walk around barefoot, or even with shoes, without feeling the pain from plantar fasciitis. I hit thirty and shortly after my body gave me a big F-you.

The bottom line: I’m beyond frustrated with my low back/tailbone issues. I feel completely betrayed by my body, and, for the first time in my life, I’m feeling pretty ashamed of the way I look naked.

Don’t worry – I’m not going to get all anorexia nervosa on you all (I really respect and love food too much), and I know that I have a pretty healthy weight and lifestyle. I just am just really missing the tone and firmness of years past. And while I know that having kids changes your body, usually for the worst, I also know that with a little (okay, a lot of) hard work, there’s no reason why I can’t firm up a bit. (You should see the buff moms I see at the pool!) But not being able to run (my staple cardio) has made staying in shape difficult. That, combined with the busy life of being a wife and mother and putting others before myself, all adds up to more flab, less confidence, and a little bit of mild depression about it all. (See above.)

Fortunately, I am a pretty positive person. So, what am I doing about all of this? Well, after taking July off from Rolfing in order to do some extensive traveling (Wautoma, WI), I start up again Tuesday and have weekly appointments for the next 7 weeks. I haven’t seen too many results from the first three sessions, but I didn’t expect to. It’s a lengthy process, not a quick fix, and I still have faith that it will help. The first few sessions were definitely interesting, but I did come out of it feeling lighter and with better posture. I’m looking forward to going again and this time with some regularity. Hopefully, I’ll start noticing big changes soon. In addition to the Rolfing, I’ve had two one-on- one sessions at a fancy (read: expensive) Pilates studio in town. My instructor’s age (and weight) was probably 70, yet I’m quite sure she could kick my ass if need be. I have one more session with her and then I’ll likely continue on my own or take some classes at the studio. This combination of Structural Integration (Rolfing) and core work was “prescribed” by my orthopedic.

If it doesn’t work, who knows? Acupuncture? Abdominal replacement? Spinal transplant? Seeking out the Dalai Lama? I’m open to suggestions. But let’s just hope I won’t need any more treatment in a few months. And that by then running will be more than a quarterly event for me. Because it needs to be. I’ve always known that running is not great for your body. But I was the girl who chose to run the mile a second time in elementary school so that I could improve my time. I was the girl who was “scouted” by high school cross country coaches when I was in junior high, and who peaked as a freshman in track (oops) but kept on chugging. I was the girl who ran all over my gorgeous hilly college campus, listening to the same running mix over and over. And I am the woman who signed up for a half marathon at 7 months pregnant. I’ve been running for over half my life, and I can only consider this break from it a bump in the road, a hill I’ve got to get to the top of, the sooner the better.

And now, for yet another picture dump. Two trips to the lake, outtings around town, and life, in general.


Making a big mess














Milty Wilty (ice cream place) play area aka Malaria Area

Cutest cafe ever

Fish Hatchery tour - we know how to do vacation




Feeding the fish






My garden tomatoes

Cukes

Brussel sprouts and peppers behind



Playtime at Uncle Hammond and Aunt Courtney's









Aunt Lou and Uncle Dave



Children's Museum






The result of finding Ethan's ink pad



Adventures in pudding

Reunited with the bee book at the lake



Wautoma Airport - site of the pancake breakfast














This cracks me up



Ben showing Ethan and Eleanor their new toad



Pop Pop was letting the kids drive his remote controlled truck.




Happy Birthday Dad


Retro on Roscoe street fair




Homemade tagliatelle with an eggplant and zucchini butter thyme sauce, cooked in my new stainless steel pots and pans. :)


Painting time