Why I Hate to do Laundry (and other sad musings)

It's not the sorting. It's not the folding. And it's not the fact that it occurs almost daily. I realize that the reason I hate doing laundry is because it makes me feel lazy and soft around the edges. What? Huh? But how can this be, you ask? You see, doing laundry in my house requires me to hang up many workout clothes that are unable to go into the dryer. Often, there are so many nondryable clothes that almost the entire load is hung up and very little even makes it into our dryer. So what's the big deal? The big deal is that, inevitably, ninety percent of the hang-to-dry clothes are Will's. Every time I do the laundry, there are at least three pairs of his bike shorts, long spandex for running outside, fleeces, dry-wick tops, etc., etc., etc. Maybe there are one or two workout-type clothes items for me. But, often, since I'm the one doing laundry, I know that they're only being washed because they were spit up on, not because I was actually working out in them. Connecting the dots, you see that Will is the one working out all the time and I, well, I am, apparently, doing laundry instead. If only laundry was considered exercise!

Another sad thing is the prospect of returning to work next year. Up until last week, I had given the idea very little thought, preferring instead to focus on my present enamored state with Ethan. But, having gone to school and put in my official requests for next year, I have moved something that seemed to be in the distant future up a few pages in my thought calendar. Today, while rolling on the floor with the E-man, I had this epiphany-like moment where I thought, I LOVE being home. Some days I know I take it for granted. I get frustrated or complain about mundane difficulties. But, really, I am so very lucky to be home this year. And Ethan is so so so so so fantastic. He's really just so adorably cute and cuddly and can do so much now. He's in such a fun stage. The kid does not cry (during the day at least) and seems to be so content exploring everything - and I mean everything - around him. He brings Will and I so much joy. (Case in point: Lately, he is obsessed with feet and if you dangle one near him he will go for it bring it to his mouth with both hands like a stinky hamburger.) I know going back part time next year will be ok and that it is what is right for our family right now, but I can't help but feel a bit mournful of the time I will miss out on next year. Our mornings now are so leisurely, and we both stay in our pjs far longer than I'd like to admit. Next fall, I will have to be up and dressed early and rush through breakfast and everything to get Ethan to wherever he will be going (another source of anxiety - the looming question of daycare) and to get to school myself. I'm spoiled. And I like it. Argh. Yes, I'll get used to my new, teacher + kid life next year, but that doesn't mean I have to love the idea right now, right?

Update

Not much has been going on with us these days, which I guess we can consider a good thing. Ethan did have his second follow-up appointment with this orthotist yesterday. He gained another couple of milimeters from this front left to back right, which is where they would like to see growth. Will and I both (as well as family members) see a difference in the shape of his head already. I think the helmet is doing its job - and quickly. They had the adjust the inside because it was tightening on his flat side, which our orthotist said is a really great sign. Hopefully, he'll have it off before the weather is warm. I anticipate he'll have it off by May.

Other than that, we've been laying low, staying in the house on these frigid days. We do walk at the park district indoor track some days with a friend and her baby, but we can't wait for nicer weather so we can go for walks outside.

Ethan is babbling a ton lately (see video) and also sitting up on his own. He does fall over still, and that is when we are extra glad he has the helmet. It's multi-purpose, that's for sure. Also, we are just waiting for Ethan's first teeth to come through. They seem so close and I keep thinking it will happen any second. All the signs are there...just nothing definite.

I have been back to LT a couple of times to talk to the powers that be about my job next year. Yesterday, I met our new HR director and told him I would like to return part-time. He said I definitely took him off guard, though I'm not sure why. He doesn't know me. He was very very nice, though, and he said he will let me know if this is a possibility as soon as he can. He did not want to give any indication, good or bad, of how he thought it would go. Basically, he does not know any of the history as far as people going part-time and needs to talk it over with those who have been around. And, ultimately, it's the Board of Ed's decision, I guess. I think it probably helps me that Will works there, too, and that he has a good relationship with many board members. The Board president is running for Congress in our district, so if he wants our votes, he better help accommodate me. :) Seriously, I'm not sure what I will do if they tell me I can't go part-time. I hope not to have to decide. I know for a fact that I do not want to work full-time. Keep your fingers crossed.

The video here is of one of the E-man's recent baths. (It's suitable for all audiences, don't worry.) I don't know why Will was whistling the Brady Bunch theme...I ask, but I don't think he answers. (Oh, and if you want to watch the video without the music, hit the little pause button-two parallel lines-twice until the music stops.)

Marty the Mailman

I love my mailman and not in the cliche, "it's the mailman's kid" kind of way. He's a 50 something fantastically nice man. Here's the story to prove it:

This afternoon, after Ethan went down for a nap, I was trying to get a few notes written and addressed to get out in the mail today. I was just about done, when Marty the Mailman came up our walk. I flew to the door (sporting my ratty spandex, no less) and opened it. The following is our conversation reproduced.

Me: Hey Marty! I'm just finishing up some letters. Are you going to be on the block a few more minutes?
Marty: Sure. I'll park in front of your house when I'm done. Just wave when you're ready.
Me: Oh, thanks so much. I appreciate it. I'll hurry.
Marty: Take your time. How's the little one?
Me: He's great! I'm sending out his latest picture. Here it is. (showing him the picture)
Marty: Awwww. He's getting so big.
Me: I know. I can hardly believe he's almost 7 months.
Marty: Well, you get inside. I'll pull up to the house. Just wave when you're done and I'll come grab the letters.
Me: Thanks!

Two minutes later and with a big sweater and the closest shoes to the door on, I ran out with letters in hand.

Marty: You didn't need to come out. I said I'd come get them.
Me: No problem. Thanks again for waiting.
Marty: Sure. Here are some mints I got at the car dealership.
Me: Oh, OK. Thanks. (This was an odd gesture, but cute. Don't worry, they were wrapped.)
Marty: And, by the way, you didn't have to give me nothing for Christmas.
Me: (Letting the bad grammar go...) Of course we did. We appreciate you walking in the cold!
Marty: Well, you take care.
Me: You too. Thanks. Stay warm!

How fantastic is my mailman?

This story reminds me of another one I meant to post about an experience at Trader Joe's this past weekend. I made the mistake of going during the day on Saturday. The place was JAMMED and every register had a long line full of people with carts filled to the brim. All I needed was a bottle of wine. I had time, though, so I waited. While in line, a young mother in the line next to me, who had her small baby and husband with her, walked over and told me to please go in front of them. She said, "You just have the one thing. Why don't you go in front of us." I replied, "Oh, are you sure? Thanks so much!" I thanked them about three more times before leaving and just felt so good when I left. I even got a little teary-eyed.

Now, it is a sad, sad world if these small acts of kindness make me so happy. Shouldn't events such as these be commonplace? The truth is they're not. Many people are in too big of a hurry to think of others. We are all guilty of this sometimes, myself included. But think how nice it would be if more people were like Marty the Mailman or this young woman at the grocery store. I guess if these events were commonplace, though, we would take them for granted. I really do believe that the kindness you give does come back to you, and I'm grateful for these experiences that remind me to be a little more kind myself.

Ethan the frog wonders, what kind thing have you done for someone else this week?

Our New Bathroom

I have been meaning to post pictures of our new "master" bathroom for a while. (Those of you who've been to our house and have seen this bathroom know why master is in quotes. Small is an understatement.) First, a picture of the old bathroom:

I wasn't able to scan it the right way, so you'll have to turn your head. Now, it probably doesn't look all that bad, and it really wasn't. In fact, that marble floor cost us an extra couple thousand dollars when we bought the house because the bozo who refurbished it decided those 9 tiles of marble made the house all the more valuable! What an idiot. Other than the floor, though, the vanity was pretty cheap, and the recessed soap holders were definitely outdated. The main problem we had with the bathroom, though, was the shower. It was one of those plastic deals and very poorly done. (I don't have any pictures of it.) But even so, we didn't plan to redo the bathroom until at least this summer. Then the shower started leaking into the basement, and we knew we had issues. Since we needed a new shower, it was time to update the whole thing. My Uncle Johnny, who also redid our guest bath two summers ago, did this bathroom for us, too. He is a crazy workaholic who does amazing work. He's a total perfectionist and even insisted he re-stain the wood around the window so it matched everything else. And...he's fast! He did the demo the weekend after Thanksgiving and was done right after Christmas. And that's working on weeknights and weekends since rehab is not his day job (though it should be). Without further ado...here is the new bathroom.

The vanity looks similar because it's white again, but it is nicer and is a cottage style. And the top is soapstone, which is a better surface than what we had. It is also no longer plain white. The mirror is simply a smaller version of what we had. I would have preferred one big mirror/medicine cabinet, but Will likes having this kind because he cuts his own hair. Since I got to pick everything else out, I gave him this one. :)

Now, here's the real beautiful part of the bathroom: the new shower! In order to make the room look a little bigger (a little...) and simply because it looks very nice, we went with clear shower doors. I love it! I especially wanted them because the tile work is so beautiful, I didn't want frosted doors to cover it up. Here's a close up of the accent piece I chose:

Not bad, huh? The shower is still small, but at least now it's beautiful!

Ethan's One Cute Little Girl!

Yesterday, Ethan and I took a trip to Trader Joe's for some groceries. It's fun grocery shopping with Ethan now because he's finally big enough to sit in the actual cart. He flops to the side sometimes, but I usually put a blanket around him to prop him up. Ethan, of course, is just thrilled to be looking around at all the people and exotic items around him. It's fun to see his face.

Well, during our shopping trip yesterday, we were in the frozen food aisle and there was a little boy who clearly liked babies. I wasn't paying attention but apparently, he was really trying to get a good look at Ethan. When I realized the mother was talking about us, I turned around and she said, "He really wants to see the baby." Obviously, I have no problem showing the little man off, so I turned the cart around and said, "Here he is." The little boy got a sheepish smile and said, "Awwwww" and his mother said, "Oh, it's a little girl." Girl? Huh? I decided not to correct her because a) clearly she was very nice and well-meaning and I didn't want to embarrass her and b) I just wanted to finish shopping and didn't feel like making conversation. But then I coudln't help thinking, did I put him in a girly outfit? Is red girly? He had a shirt on underneath for the layered look, and he had on his dark blue helmet. I mean, come on. There was also the blue blanket he had wrapped around him, the one that says Ethan Becht on it, but I'll just assume she didn't see that one.

What do you think? Do I need to start dressing Ethan up in suits and ties? Work boots and flannels? Teach him to spit and scratch himself in public and leave the toilet seat up? I don't think so.

You see, Ethan's a pretty secure kid. And he doesn't like being stuck in these societal gender roles. He has blue and pink pacifiers. He likes to read Olivia and Where the Wild Things Are. He's just as content in his navy blue "I like to build" outfit as he is in his yellow ducky footy pajamas. He's just an individual! And he says if wearing a red shirt that says "Inspired" is girly, then so be it. As long as it's still easy to drool on, he doesn't care.

For Crying It Out Loud

It's 6:40 and Ethan is sleeping. I put him down about 20 minutes ago completely awake, and he was asleep within 5 minutes with about 30 seconds of very light crying. What a difference a few days make.

After my second to last post, the one detailing all the sleep issues we were having, we decided to let Ethan "cry it out." It's a sleep training method I did not really think I would ever use, but the worse Ethan was sleeping, the more I realized that it was what we needed to do. Will and I talked it over and started a gradual CIO regimen this weekend. We let him cry until we finally caved in and went to him. That was about 20-30 minutes after he started. He slept poorly both nights, waking up very often before midnight, and then sleeping in two hour increments. Finally, on Monday, we went for it full-throttle. One of the leading CIO proponents, Dr. Marc Weisbluth, whose book I have read, explains that having your child cry it out in gradual increments will actually make for more total crying and will take longer than if you simply do it all the way one night. We were terrified, though, because for some children this can mean well over an hour of crying. On Monday, though, Ethan cried for about 45 minutes before finding his pacifier, popping it in, and calming down. It's a good thing, too, because I don't think we could have taken that much longer. About 10 minutes after that, he was asleep. And he slept until almost 3am! Then, after eating, he went back down easily until after 6! His first nap that next day was an hour and a half, too! That is the longest nap he's had in so long. I was thrilled, and it gave me the motivation to take another night of crying. I had been warned by friends, that the second night could be worse, so I was very anxious. Miraculously, 12 minutes after putting him down last night, he was asleep, and he really didn't cry all that hard in those 12 minutes. Tonight, he hardly cried at all. In the words of The Monkey's, "I'm a Believer."

One thing that helped was that we set up a video monitor we got for free from the place we bought Ethan's crib. It has a little television monitor you can watch. That first night, Will and I were glued to the monitor, cheering for Ethan to find his pacifier to help him calm down. He had spit it out, but I had placed five in his crib all around him. :) When he finally found one and got it to his mouth, we were silently cheering!

There is still a bit of guilt I feel for letting Ethan cry it out, even though I truly believe it is in his best interest since sleep is very important to his development, now and later. There are many parents who believe it is an evil practice that teaches your child that you are not going to come to their aide when they need it. When I read this other side, it makes me sad. And, of course, as a mommy, you can't help but feel guilty when you listen to your baby cry and don't respond to it. Your heart aches more than a little, that is for sure. But when I saw how well-rested Ethan was in the morning, and when he greeted me with his great big smile, I knew it was OK. And the fact that he can go down so easily now takes away a lot of my anxiety. The fact of the matter is, when I'm tired and stressed, I'm not the best mom I can be. Now, both of us are better rested and happier. And I really just don't believe that an hour of crying at 6 months will affect him the rest of his life if he gets all the love he wants when he's awake. He doesn't seem deprived to me!

And, really, we were terribly lucky that Ethan took to putting himself to bed at night so quickly. The entire "training process" only caused an hour total of crying. When I think about him waking up so often every night, that is a lot more than an hour of crying, so it was definitely worth it. I have to thank my friend, Emma, who talked me through a lot of my concerns about having Ethan cry it out and was a great person to give advice since she was in my shoes last year. Emma is also the cloth diapering guru I follow, so her new nickname is Mr. Miyagi. Thanks you, master!

In other Ethan news, he had his first helmet follow-up helmet appointment today at Children's in the city. The orthotist measured his head and he has gained 3 mm where he needs to, after only 2 weeks with the helmet. Will and I are thrilled that the helmet really doesn't seem to bother him at all. He scratches his head a little when we take it off to clean it, but that's about all. He adjusted to it so quickly. And the stares from outsiders haven't bothered me either...much. I was only bothered yesterday when a woman did a double take and had a really rude look on her face and seemed to stare a little too obviously. I told Will I had a small fantasy of turning her around after she passed and punching her in the face. I guess that's the mama bear in me. But, really, we're used to it and think it's pretty cute. He almost looks strange when he doesn't have it on because we're so used to it. And it's proved quite useful in the past couple of days. Yesterday, I knocked him in the head with an umbrella but he was unscathed. And the other day, I took a corner too close and his helmet got bonked. He wasn't phased at all. :) A helmet isn't the worse thing when you have a klutz for a mother, I guess!

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNIE!

Why it's Important to Vote Democrat in the Next Election

It's January 7th.
I ran in three quarter pants today and a light top.
There were tornado warnings earlier.
Now there is a thunderstorm.
Global Warming is here to stay.

Not so happy post

***WARNING: The following post may serve as unwelcome birth control. If you are planning on becoming a first time parent any time soon, please proceed with caution.

I'M TIRED. Too tired for an exclamation point there even. I don't do well without a lot of sleep. My sister, Lisa, doesn't sleep and handles it very well. She has two crazy kids running around and another on the way but the lack of sleep doesn't phase her all that much. Me, I'm not the same. I really like sleep. I like it a lot. And I miss it. Half my day consists of wondering how much I'll sleep at night and daydreams of the next time I'll be able to really sleep in, like when our kids are off at college. I have not been this deprived of sleep since Ethan was a newborn. Then it was easier because it was expected. But at six months? He has been out of whack for at least three weeks now, and I'm feeling desperate. I feel pretty OK once morning comes and it's light out, but getting up so often at night, and for so long, is taking its toll. You start to get a little insane. I play a game with myself every night when I get up. I start counting the hours of sleep I've had. When it's 2am and I've really only slept a couple of hours so far, I get a bit panicked. Then I try to figure out how many hours of total sleep I will get if he falls asleep soon. Every time I go back to sleep and then wake up again, I look at the clock and can't believe how little time has passed.

Then there's the anger. I get mad at Ethan for not sleeping. I want to throw things. I am tense and know that only makes things worse but I can't help it. Then I get mad at myself for getting mad at my adorable six month old whose sleep issues are very likely my fault. I second guess everything I do and think of a new theory every hour of the day. Perhaps he's not sleeping well because my voice is hoarse and when I try to sing him the song I sing him before naps only half the song comes out in a man voice. He's confused. Or...maybe all the flashbulbs from the photographer yesterday afternoon gave him a headache. These are silly theories, I realize, but I am desperate for an answer that probably simply doesn't exist.

He is having major problems simply getting to sleep, even in the middle of the night when all it used to take was a little bit of nursing and then back to bed. As soon as I put him down, he wakes up and is wide awake again. So I rerock him until he's asleep and wait a long while before trying to put him down again. Usually, on the the third try, I can get him down. But by then I've been up for an hour already.

Additionally, he seems to have awful gas lately so now I am trying to cut dairy out of my diet. It's unlikely he would all of a sudden have an aversion to dairy in my diet, but I am trying it out anyway. But it's not easy. What is there to eat? No milk with my oatmeal? No cheese? No ice cream??? That's madness.

Luckily, the during-the-day-rational part of me knows that it will not be like this forever. But try telling that to the middle-of-the-night-zombie part of me.

Happy 2008

Here's four generations on both sides! We had both sets of grandparents and both great grandmas over on the 23rd.
Three generations with both grandpas.
Don't they look debonair?

Here's the annual cousins picture.

Ethan loved eating...er...opening presents Christmas morning.

Here we are Christmas Day at the Meuers.Grandma Leona admires Baby Jake.
Here's another four generations with both Meuer boys and their boys.

Our picture with little Santa.

Ethan's day after Christmas present was his helmet.

Will nicknamed Ethan Magneto from X-men. Here's Magneto using his metal crushing powers.

Baby Jake was Christened on December 30th. Here's the family before the ceremony.

Here's Jake right after the dousing. He didn't even wake up!Happy New Year!!!Here are a few pics of our new car, a Mazda 3.

Here's the cake my mom made for my cousin Charlie. He asked for hooters on his cake. I thought my mom was pretty clever!

Well, I thought I would put a sampling of the major events from our holiday since looking at those and seeing the captions would help you see how we've been spending our time. It's been a very busy couple of weeks filled with a lot of fun family events. But, man, are we exhausted!!!

Christmas came and went so quickly, as usual, but it was a great time. For the first time, Will and I had Christmas morning in our own house, starting new traditions with Ethan. He mostly just ate his wrapping paper, but he did seem to enjoy some of his toys...once they were out of the horrendous packaging that is. Grandma Mary Terese gave him a shelving unit with bins for all his toys and its already pretty much filled thanks to all of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins! He hardly knows what to eat/play with first.

The day after Christmas was a bit sad for us because we did have to go into the city to pick up Ethan's helmet. I'll admit to getting a bit overwhelmed/upset while there because when they first put it on, it was very low on his head, and it didn't look like my Ethan. I decided then and there that he would just deal with a lopsided head! But then the orthotist did some trimming and now it's really not so bad. Many family members have even said how cute it is. It is somewhat cute, I guess, but, of course, we'd rather not have to have it. It does not seem to bother Ethan at all now, which is a great relief, and the only major problems are:

1. It smells like a foot when you take it off, giving Ethan the nickname Stinky Head.

2. It hurts my arm when I nurse/rock him.

3. It's difficult to get clothing over it.

4. Ethan headbutts sometimes and now it can leave a bruise.

One major advantage (besides the whole fixing of his flat head) is that I no longer worry about knocking Ethan's head against the changing table when I get up from his chair. He's protected now! In all seriousness, though, we are feeling much better about the whole thing and appreciate all the support you've given us throughout the process.

Ethan's 6th month appointment was today (he was a stud with the shots) and he continues to top the charts with his height: 28 inches. He's as tall as a typical 10 month old. He's weighing in at 18lbs 10oz these days, less than we thought actually. He's 75th percentile there. My back sure is feeling that weight, but I suppose I should thank him for the bicep workout. Everything else is looking good. Tomorrow, we're going to start feeding him jar food. Should be interesting!

The only major Ethan snag in our lives right now is that he has not been sleeping well at night. We've unswaddled him (finally!) but he now needs to be rocked to sleep most times because he takes his pacifier out of mouth to play with it. When he inevitably drops it, he is very mad. We've created a monster. On top of this, he seems to be getting an upset tummy (aka lots of gas pains) every night. I've cut things from my diet, tried drops and tonight gave him some chamomile tea...nothing seems to work. He is waking up very frequently and it's been a bit frustrating. His naps are very short, too. To make matters worse, I have a bad cold that's all in my throat right now and the lack of sleep is not helping. I just keep telling myself, "This too shall pass" over and over. We're hoping it will settle down once our lives settle down and he's not doing so much of his sleeping on the go. He's been sleeping for over an hour now with no stirrings which is better than the past few nights, so knock on wood quick!

Oh, yeah, and we bought a car! We had many talks and finally decided to hold off on the minivan for another year or so and get a sedan. It's much more cost effective for us right now with only one kid. Soon enough, we'll be trading in the Impala for the good old van, I'm sure. We decided on a Mazda 3 after Will poured over all the car ads for a few days and spoke to many a car dealers. We were able to get 0% financing for 36 months, which was a definite for us, so we're pretty happy. It's a nice little car. All the online reviews compare it to the Corolla and Civic, two cars we were looking into. I'm pretty excited because I've never had a new car. We said goodbye (well, Will said good riddance) to the Pontiac. It got us a whopping $500 toward our new car, which actually was more than I expected since it needs a lot more work than that! I meant to get a picture of the "Goldie Oldie" but forgot. Oh well.

The other new thing in our lives is our master bathroom. My uncle Johnny helped us out big time when our shower started leaking. He redid the bathroom, working nights and weekends) in about 4 weeks! It's beautiful. I'll get some before/after pictures up soon.

Before I head to bed, a special congratulations to my sister-in-law, Laura, and her new fiance, Chris, who proposed yesterday. We're very excited for you Laura! Congratulations!

Happy New Year, everybody!